Riding the Wave
Staying mindful during anxiety-provoking times is incredibly difficult. I often try to practice using mindfulness skills while walking my dog, Stella. Recently, I found this to be very challenging when I passed another walker who began coughing intensely. Despite my mindfulness practice earlier in the walk, I found myself in sudden "fight or flight" mode with an urge to run the other way. For the rest of the walk, instead of paying attention to the way the setting sun illuminated the grass and the smell of the trees lining the street, I had shifted into wrangling uncomfortable anxiety thoughts and physical sensations. In moments like these, the natural urge is to run away from the anxiety (and from the coughing walker). The problem with running away from anxiety is that it doesn't really work or, if it does, the behavior we use to run away is more harmful than the anxiety in the long-term. So, if we can't run away from the pain and discomfort of anxiety, what are our options?
One option is using the same mindfulness skills I had been practicing on the walk, but turning them inward. Anxiety can sometimes feel like drowning under a powerful wave in a tumultuous ocean. Observing our internal state, intentionally and nonjudgmentally, is similar to a surfer going with the movement and direction of a powerful wave rather than trying to fight against it and being tossed around. When we practice "riding the wave," we observe all facets of our internal experience - our thoughts, physical sensations, behaviors - without drawing any conclusions or making any judgments about them. I almost try to think of myself as a scientist making observations for an experiment while being unaware of the hypothesis. I'm just watching and taking notes. What I'm watching may go down or up. Either way, I approach the change with a mindset of curiosity rather than assessment.
Of course, practicing this with our own emotional experience is much more challenging than watching an experiment. When our anxiety goes up, it is more uncomfortable and there's no way around that. At the same time, approaching changes in anxiety with the goal of watching rather than evaluating, and with curiosity rather than judgment, can help us feel less overwhelmed during the experience. It can allow us to notice that these experiences are temporary, and to become familiar with the natural rise and fall of our emotional experience over time. Riding the wave will not get rid of the wave, but it can make having to experience a huge wave feel a little less threatening. As many surfers know, the more you struggle with the wave, the more likely you are to get caught in it.
The more I practice this, the more confident I feel in my ability to manage huge (and uncomfortable) waves when they come up. In a time where even seemingly small things can trigger anxiety, feeling like I know how to ride an anxiety wave has been welcomingly reassuring. There are skills we often teach as part of therapy here at CBTDenver to help our clients learn to ride the wave of fear and anxiety. If you're interested in continuing to learn about the Ride the Wave skill, please visit our website at www.cbtdenver.com for more information. Like John Kabat-Zinn said, "you can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf." I wish you all a safe, healthy spring season and I hope that riding the wave helps.
-Nicole