Couples Therapy: Strengthening Relationships
Couples therapy focuses on the relationship itself as the primary client, addressing patterns of interaction between partners to strengthen their bond.
It identifies patterns of interactions between the couple and may center around a variety of presenting concerns such as wanting to enhance effective communication skills, improve ongoing conflict, or help resolve a polarizing relationship issue such as the decision to raise children, move to another city for one person’s career, or whether or not to stay together or separate.
Couples therapy is often sought during major relationship challenges, but it can also serve as a proactive approach to strengthen bonds and support partners through the natural highs and lows of a relationship even if there is no crisis.
In general, couples therapy can involve understanding one’s relationship patterns and how these may play out in the partnership, building effective communication skills, managing conflict in a helpful manner (e.g. without criticizing each other), exploring each partner’s relationship needs and how the other partner can work to meet them, and learning how to express and exhibit support and understanding to your partner. This Psychology Today article provides an overview of couples therapy.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy
Effective couples therapy requires active participation from both partners, fostering a shared commitment to improving the relationship.
While one member of the couple may initiate seeking therapy, both members must be willing and motivated to participate. This is something that can be explored in therapy, so if you are not initially feeling very motivated, it may still be worthwhile to attend a few sessions and see how you feel over time.
Relationships can be challenging even during the smoothest of times when both partners are committed and have the best intentions. When engaging in couples therapy, it is helpful to be clear about your goals for the relationship and committed to working toward improvement. These are both things the therapist can help you explore and refine as needed. You may come to couples therapy uncertain of the future of the relationship and that is okay. Therapy can help to clarify your thoughts and feelings.
Effective Goals for Couples Therapy
The goals you set out for yourself as individuals and as a couple may differ, but they should ultimately center around the following:
Improving effective communication
Increasing conflict resolution, problem-solving skills, and/or values-based decision making
Building trust and a sense of respect
Enhancing relationship satisfaction
Processing past transgressions
Reducing certain emotions that may erode the relationship over time such as feelings of resentment
Gaining clarity and confidence in the path forward
Taking the First Step
Couples therapy can be highly effective. Several factors can impact whether a couple will benefit from therapy, including the level of commitment and the perceptions of each member of the couple. For example, if a member of the couple experiences ongoing hesitancy or ambivalence toward therapy, couples who view each other as the enemy, and/or who do not consider how they impact the current relationship patterns, may hinder the helpfulness of couples therapy.
If you would like to learn more about couples therapy, please contact us at CBT Denver.