Staying Within Your Window of Tolerance
It is a time of uncertainty and unrest. It has been a month since the death of George Floyd and ensuing riots as well as many peaceful protests. The backdrop of a global coronavirus pandemic still requires us to wear masks, stand apart, and adjust to what has become known as the “new normal." Add to this an uncertain economy, mass unemployment, and the ever-changing recommendations around school openings/ childcare. It’s safe to say – we have a lot going on. Many of our clients have experienced greater anxiety, stress, irritability, and frustration in response to these stressful events. Trauma, insomnia, phobias and other issues have been retriggered by these current events and by the continued uncertainty of how these issues will play out as time goes out.
We are best able to cope with stressors when we're operating within our "window of tolerance," the zone in which we can effectively observe, integrate, and use information. Constant stress or a traumatic experience can narrow our window of tolerance, leading to either a state of hyper- or hypo-arousal. When we're hyper-aroused, we can feel anxious, angry and overwhelmed. When we're hypo-aroused our brain triggers a freeze response and we can feel numb and shut down.
Some emotional, mental, or physical discomfort is a healthy response to stressful events and unavoidable for human beings. Having a sleepless night when your loved one is in the ICU with COVID is an understandable response. Feeling discomfort when looking at how some of your behaviors may be discordant with your values and ideals is an understandable response. However, weeks of sleepless nights or panic attacks that interfere with work or relationships, may require some help.
CBT and other evidence-based psychotherapies offer many tools for managing our stress responses. CBT can help you expand your window of tolerance so you are better able to cope with challenges. When we expand our window of tolerance it's like getting better shock absorbers on our car, it makes going over the bumps a little easier. Finding our window of tolerance also helps us move forward towards what is important to us. There are also times when the best therapy is to just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. To “lean in” to your sadness, grief or emotional pain.
If you find yourself outside of your window of tolerance in response to the stresses in the world or in your own lives, please reach out to us.
At CBTDenver, we are here to help you manage and grow from your emotional pain so that you can live a rich and meaningful life, no matter what is happening in the larger or in your own world.