Obsession vs Passion: How to Tell the Difference
Hobbies and leisure activities are incredibly important. They give us much needed breaks from day-to-day obligations and can serve as a “book end” to the work day, helping us transition to relaxation and time with friends and family. They can be a way to work toward a personal goal or to devote time and energy to rewarding and meaningful causes.
Because hobbies and leisure activities are inherently pleasant and allow us to distract ourselves from internal or external experiences that are unpleasant, these activities can also turn into an escape from discomfort. In research, we distinguish between these two orientations toward our hobbies by using the terms harmonious passion and obsessive passion.
Harmonious Passion and Obsessive Passion
Individuals with a harmonious passion view the activity as important to their self-concept, and experience enjoyment and other positive emotions when they engage in the activity. Individuals with a harmonious passion feel satisfied after engaging in the activity, which allows them to participate in a time-limited way without feeling compelled to devote more and more time to the activity.
Conversely, individuals with an obsessive passion feel compelled to engage in the activity and are affected negatively (e.g., sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt) both when prevented from engaging in the activity and while they are engaging in the activity. Obsessive passion is associated with negative consequences resulting from over-engagement in the activity (Mageau, et al., 2005; Ratelle, et al., 2004; Vallerand et al., 2003).
Individuals with an obsessive passion tend to not feel satisfied after engaging in the activity. To seek relief, they begin to devote more and more time and energy to it, which has consequences on other life areas (e.g., work, family). It also leads to a negative feedback loop of unpleasant emotional states. In other words, obsessive passions function similarly to addictions.
When Joy Turns into Compulsion
Whether a person develops a harmonious or obsessive relationship with an activity is specific to the individual and their life experience, existing coping skills, distress tolerance, and previous experience with the activity. A person can develop a harmonious OR obsessive passion for a wide spectrum of activities like skiing or snowboarding, running, hiking, yoga, dancing, antiquing, video/online gaming, and sports betting.
The important thing is knowing how to recognize factors that are indicative of obsessive passion. These include negative consequences of engaging in the activity, loss of control, craving, engaging to relieve negative affect (escapism), tolerance, withdrawal, and unsuccessful attempts to quit or moderate engaging in the activity. (Stoeber et al., 2011; Wang & Chu, 2007).
When It’s Time to Seek for Help…
If you find that an activity that once brought you joy and meaning has begun to make you feel compulsive, guilty, anxious, or depressed, you may be experiencing obsessive passion. It’s important to recognize it for what it is, and seek the help needed to engage in the activities in question in a healthy manner.
Please contact us at CBTDenver and let’s start the process of reclaiming a sense of pleasure and satisfaction from your hobbies, and eliminating the negatives.
-Dr. Nicole Cross