Managing Holiday Stress
I groaned internally when I heard a few weeks back on the radio “72 days until Christmas.” By now most of you probably have made plans for the holidays. Some of you are probably excited about your plans and some of you may be dreading your plans. Some of you are traveling and some of you are staying put. Some of you are hosting. Some of you may not have plans and may be wondering what to do with yourself.
The holidays (and just life) provide us with many opportunities to manage stress and be resilient. Case in point: last Thanksgiving. We hosted a big family gathering in up in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of Colorado. Family flew in from both coasts. We hauled groceries, extra plates, soups and sauces, and extra blankets up the house in advance of our guests. The difficulties began when several family members showed up sick and then several more fell ill quickly after arrival. We had the flu, altitude sickness, and pulmonary edema to contend with over Thanksgiving week. It was like a comedy in that almost everyone present was affected. Several people were too sick to make it to Thanksgiving dinner and we had to put off dinner for several hours to take one child to urgent care so he could get help breathing. Finally, at the end of the meal, with said child sitting at the table with his oxygen mask on, my cousin and her boyfriend announced their engagement through a game of telephone. It was a beacon of hope in a long, hard week of illness and stress. It will always be a memorable Thanksgiving for many reasons and my aunt, in her infinite creativity, memorialized it in a cartoon.
Hopefully, the holidays this year go more smoothly. Here are some tips to help you manage holiday stress:
1. Stick to your routines (at least some of them)- Keep some basic aspects of your routine up such as exercise or meditation and your sleep schedule. Even if you can’t keep up your workouts completely, figure out how to fit in short workout or a walk while you’re away or have company. Even in frigid Chicago winter weather, I always pack sneakers so I can fit in a brisk walk (with hat and gloves) to help me stay balanced.
2. Set limits- You don’t have to throw a big, all out holiday bash unless you really want to. We wanted to last year but we don’t this year so we’re keeping it very simple. Decide what you are going to focus on. Maybe do a big meal for Thanksgiving but you bring in food for the night before. Maybe you ask everyone to bring a dish for a potluck. Or, if you’re my New York relatives, you always go out for Chinese food and a movie on Christmas. If you are hosting set times for arrival and departure. Let others know that you won’t be available at certain times so you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
3. Delegate or ask for help- if you are hosting, assign jobs. People generally want to help out and you probably need the help. Figure out what needs to get done and plan ahead. My aunt and uncle (hostess/hosts extraordinare) used to send out a cute evite to their Thanksgiving bash and assign tasks. It was more fun knowing we would all participate. Even the kids had assigned jobs that they could manage. Some of my favorite holiday memories are of standing at the sink washing dishes with my cousins post-Thanksgiving feast while we shimmy to the beat of Michael Jackson or whoever is on the playlist to keep us going through the stack of dishes.
4. Hire help if you can- Perhaps you can ask someone to help with clean-up after a big meal or hire a sitter if your family feast involves a lot of little ones. A wedding I just attended had sitters, special tables and activities for children so that parents could participate and enjoy the wedding and dancing. I have thrown gatherings where I wish I had hired help so I could have spent more time with my guests rather than restocking drinks and food.
5. Schedule recovery time- if it’s possible schedule a day or part of a day to recover from the festivities. Don’t make any plans during this time. You may need the down time to recover. If you feel you can be assertive about this, ask your holiday guests to leave on Saturday so you can have Sunday off. Or, let them know you have things to do on Sunday to get a jump on your week- go to the gym, go into the office to get a jump on those emails that piled up, or just stay in your pjs and do laundry and watch Netflix.
6. If you don’t want to host (and often do)- tell people in advance. It may be too late for this year but consider this for future holidays. Don’t let the “shoulds” run the show. One of my clients decided to travel abroad during a holiday and it was a nice change from hosting and changed his perspective on feeling obliged to host. The rest of the family figured it out. Perhaps someone else will step up to host or you can just allow people to make other plans.
7. Help others- if you don’t have plans or are alone over a holiday, this may be a great opportunity to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. Sign up during the holidays can fill up fast so do it now. Metro Denver Caring is a local place you can do this.
8. Be determined to make the most of whatever situation you are in. I’m writing this in the midst of a snowstorm today that really threw off my day but I’m enjoying the time alone in the office.
-Antonia
P.S. For help with holiday stress or learning skills to be resilient in the face of stress, please visit www.cbtdenver.com or email us at info@cbtdenver.com.