Couples therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on both members of an established partnership and the therapy “client” is the relationship. It focuses on the pattern of interactions between the couple and may center around a variety of presenting concerns such as wanting to enhance effective communication skills, improve ongoing conflict, or help resolve a polarizing relationship issue such as the decision to raise children, move to another city for one person’s career, or whether or not to stay together or separate.

As with any type of therapy, it is natural to wait to seek help from a professional until there is a major concern in the relationship, and couples therapy can be a great resource while navigating a specific issue. However, it can also help strengthen a certain part of a relationship and provide support for managing the more general ups and downs of relationships even if a crisis does not exist. In this way, it can be preventative.

In general, couples therapy can involve understanding one’s relationship patterns and how these may play out in the partnership, building effective communication skills, managing conflict in a helpful manner (e.g., without criticizing each other), exploring each partner’s relationship needs and how the other partner can work to meet them, and learning how to express and exhibit support and understanding to your partner. This Psychology Today article provides an overview of couples therapy.

Couples therapy is a two-way street where both members are expected to participate. While one member of the couple may initiate seeking therapy, both members must be willing and motivated to participate. This is something that can be explored in therapy, so if you are not initially feeling very motivated, it may still be worthwhile to attend a few sessions and see how you feel over time.

Relationships can be challenging even during the smoothest of times when both partners are committed and have the best intentions. When engaging in couples therapy, it is helpful to be clear about your goals for the relationship (the therapist can help you to explore and refine your goals as needed) and committed to working to improve the relationship. You may come to couples therapy uncertain of the future of the relationship and that is okay. Therapy can help to clarify your thoughts and feelings about the relationship.

Generally speaking, effective goals for couples therapy may include

-       Improving effective communication

-       Increasing conflict resolution, problem-solving skills, and/or values-based decision making

-       Building trust and a sense of respect

-       Enhancing relationship satisfaction

-       Processing past transgressions

-       Reducing certain emotions that may erode the relationship over time such as feelings of resentment

-       Gaining clarity and confidence in the path forward

Couples therapy can be highly effective. Several factors can impact how effective couples therapy may be including the level of commitment to therapy and the perceptions of each member of the couple. For example, if a member of the couple experiences ongoing hesitancy or ambivalence toward therapy, couples who view each other as the enemy, and/or who do not consider how they impact the current relationship patterns may hinder the helpfulness of couples therapy.

If you would like to learn more about couples therapy, please contact us at CBT Denver.